.Incidents and Accidents. Hints and Allegations.

A gentleman came to us for a bladder check-up. Following my introduction, he declared, “I’ve had such luck.  I’ve had nothing but pretty nurses all day.” 

“Would you tell us if we were ugly?” I coyly replied. Not missing a beat, he said 

“No, but I’ll say it when they’re pretty.” 

Feeling like nothing shy of a she-beast in the looks-department today, the compliments which continued to flow were quite flattering, despite their delivery by a septuagenarian. 

“Put me to sleep soon, so I can dream of beautiful women,” he said as the anesthetics began to flow.

He followed, ” I’m dreaming of my wife,”  and a collective “awww” rang out from all corners of the room; he then continued his thought, “…at (age) twenty-one.”  The raptures inspired by the previous breath transcended into laughter as a narcotized slumber enveloped him and no more was said.  

Day 23: Something you crave for a lot. 

a) Cheeseburger and fries.

b) NOT having to endure the resulting weight gain brought on by option “a”

c) A Godly man. (Who loves me and whom I love in return.)

d) A vacation

Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else?

Hmm… this feels like a trick question. Am I actually a Beauty Queen during Q&A’s and I just don’t know it??  

  ”I personally believe, and the like, the Iraq and the education in the South Africa…” 

As Pete from The Muppets Take Manhattan puts it, “Peoples is peoples.” In all honesty, I had given this question some thought years ago pertaining to God. What makes each of us unique and special to Him?  I actually never went for the full answer because I was too wrapped up in the tumult of a spiritual crossroads, so I selfishly and Job-like put forth questions I didn’t really want an answer to; I only wanted to pose them and move on as if God wouldn’t or couldn’t answer me.  (Never, ever put God in that box).  Since there are so many things about me that are similar/identical to millions of others, (i.e., dancer, quasi-actress, photographer, nurse, mood-maniac, foodie, adventurer, patriot, etc.) it’s better to put it in terms of how God sees me.  He loves me. He calls me beautiful. He sees me with a crown. He desires my company and fellowship. An awareness of that makes me different. There are people out and about who’ve no realization of God’s presence, let alone His undying love for all.  He gave up His son as a sacrifice to cover our discretions. No greater love can a man show than to give up his life for a friend.  (John 15:13)

Day 20: Someone I see myself marrying/being with in the future…

Single white female seeking single English-speaking male (5’6” and up). Must love God first; and put me right after that…no matter what I look like, how much you just watched me eat or how moody I’m being. You must have/maintain a decent job (I can only hope for a higher salary than mine). Please live independently—this is negotiable. If at all, must respect and have a healthy admiration for sci-fi without being a geeky, klingon-speaking, pointy-ear wearing freak. No creeping stalking allowed; intermediate level of conversational skills required. Can you handle alone-time? Good, you’ll need that. Constant contact is a turn-off, so occupy yourself for a few hours, please. Abercrombie-model status is not necessary, just be enough to light my fire.  If you leave me saying, “omigosh, I love when he looks at me like that…” *blushing*—you’re a winner. (chicken dinner). Are you out there? 

Day 19: Nicknames you have; why you have them…

SPOREY- Product of my clarinet case circa 9th grade.  I had “S.POREY” on the top since we bought it in the 5th grade, but over time, the dot wore off and it became “SPOREY,” which was promptly embroidered onto my band jacket and became official in 9th grade…caught like wildfire. People still call me this. 

Lambie-My mom.  ’nuff said.

Red-Bettina insisted on a new name for me.  I’m the most red-headed out of our trio, and my car is red, and I buy red accessories, I sunburn in milliseconds…hence, I AM Red. 

Breast-Me and Becca… A little weird to say we are each other’s breasts.  

Day 18: Plans/Dreams/Goals you have

-Find a man

-Allow myself love him

-Allow him to love me

-Be a good mom

-Be okay with the possibility of moving for love

-Forgiveness

-Allow God to grow me

-Be a nicer person

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why…

I can’t think of one actual living, breathing creature I’d like to trade places with.  I don’t think there’s anyone living that charmed a life that I’d be enticed to live it.  Everybody’s got their own set of nonsense to deal with.  Therefore, I’ll reference fictional characters.  Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) & Princess Leia (Star Wars).  

a) Elizabeth Bennett—Though not from a completely privileged upbringing, she rose above her circumstance with class, dignity, a quick wit and a sharp tongue.  She also scored the HOTTEST piece of man-candy in literature, Fitzwilliam Darcy (who wouldn’t want THAT for a day [at least]!??!)

b) Princess Leia—She’s plagued by a different set of circumstances.  Raised as royalty, but thriving during a time of civil tumult, she fights against the tyranny of an evil emperor.  Her home-world was obliterated; she was captured & tortured by the empire she fights and was rescued/redeemed by divine appointment.  Despite the crummy background, her future (it seems) includes the antithesis of Mr. Darcy, Han Solo.  I’m not sure which man I’d prefer, exactly.  I might actually lean towards the risky, risk-taking, scruffy-looking scoundrel.  *growwwwl*

loving your new theme, dearr.